Introducing the New Footlong

Arriva Trains Wales conductors have recently been supplied with new handheld ticket machines, as the contract with the previous manufacturers had ended. The old devices used to produce credit card-sized tickets on fairly stiff card. They were the same size as those issued by the platform machines and ticket offices. This size:

They fitted the plastic wallet you got from the ticket office when you first obtained your photocard. They went into the slot in the barriers and popped back out again, even if they were slightly creased. They easily lasted the whole month, and when they expired you could either put them in the recycling bag, use them as convenient bookmarks, or stash them in your wallet/purse for months (or years) on end, until your mates took the piss so much you ended up clearing it out.

Then came the great leap forward.

Sort of …

We had to go to Merthyr on Tuesday afternoon. As it's much cheaper to travel by train than by bus (£3.90 vs £7.50), we decided the time difference was less important than the cost. The ticket office doesn't open in the afternoon, so we bought our tickets from the conductor. Even he was laughing as the machine generated this monster.

And that's just the half of it. I've had to fold it in two in order to fit it on the scanner – the return portion is equally big.

On Sunday afternoon, a friend of mine took great delight in showing off his previous season ticket from Aberdare to Maesteg (top) and comparing it with the weekly ticket he bought after the Xmas break.

In fact, it's so long that it hung off the end of the scanner earlier on. I know I've called it the 'new footlong', but it's more like fourteen inches.

The increased amount of paper in my mate's ticket wallet had actually forced the clear window away from the backing, so he'd had to pick up a new one last week. After a bit of experimentation, he'd been able to arrange for the three clear windows to display his photocard, the origin and destination details, and the QR code.

Having said that, he's not entirely sure what the QR code is for. He travels to and from stations without fixed barriers, so there's nothing to scan that portion with anyway. He told me that on one occasion when he'd been stuck between trains, he'd tried to break his journey and wasn't allowed through the automatic barriers at Cardiff Central.

Incidentally, when I said the new style tickets were printed on paper, I was being a little economical with the verité. They're actually printed on some sort of thermal paper, which might or not be recyclable, depending on whom you listen to. I expect we'll find out for sure when householders start getting £75 fines from their local councils for putting out 'contaminated materials' for collection.

In civilised countries – like England – public transport operators are rolling out smartcards, based on Transport for London's Oyster card and similar systems.

The Oyster card is undoubtedly the gold standard of smartcards in the UK. You can buy it from ticket machines, from tourist information centres, or order one online and it comes  by return of post. It's valid on London buses, trains within the TfL area, the Tube, the Croydon/Wimbledon tram network, the waterbuses and the Boris bikes. You top up before you set off (either online, at the station, or in a corner shop), swipe it whenever you get on and off the services, and the correct fare is deducted from your balance. TfL even cap the daily amount you pay, making the Oyster card a quick, convenient and economical way of travelling around London. I wish I'd bought one years ago, in fact.

Cardiff Bus has the iff card (Card-iff – geddit? No? Neither did I until just now), a similar idea with one major flaw: you can't top it up online (yet). I've had my iff card since it was introduced, nearly a decade ago, and you still have to go to the corner shop to pay your fiver beforehand. I think you still have to get your first iff card by post, too, as Cardiff Bus don't seem to have a physical presence at the moment. It's a half-hearted attempt to imitate the Oyster card, but for buses only. It doesn't even help the environment. You still get a paper ticket, even if you've preloaded your iff card with enough credit to buy a Day Rider.

Stagecoach in South Wales now issue their weekly (and longer) tickets as a smartcard, which you can buy from the driver the first time you need one and top up subsequently. I think you can top it up online, too. But it's only valid on Stagecoach buses in South Wales. Since there's a gap between Stagecoach's operations in South Wales and their sister company in Gloucestershire, you have to carry two smartcards if you travel from Abergavenny into the Forest of Dean. I don't know whether the smartcard is valid on Phil Anslow services, which bridge the gap between the two.  It's getting closer to the ideal of the smartcard, but it still doesn't merit the cigar.

About a year ago, I read a report in the Western Mail which said the Welsh Government was 'discussing' proposals for an Oyster-style card (Silk, 2016). I can't remember the exact details, but I think the plan was for it to be valid on both buses and trains.

It sounds lovely, but bear in mind that you can't travel from the middle part of Mid Glamorgan into the western part, let along into West Glamorgan, without crossing the boundary between Stagecoach and First Bus territory. You can't get from Hirwaun to Cardiff without having to buy a bus ticket (in Hirwaun) and a train ticket (in Aberdare). You've spent over ten quid before you get to your destination.

Can you really imagine a Welsh smartcard (the Dragon? the Daffodil? the Laverbread and Cockles?) which was valid throughout the country, across county boundaries, accepted by rival operators, and interchangeable between modes of transport? No, neither can I?

And what possible use would it be in mid-Wales, where you're lucky to see a bus more than once a week in some places, and there hasn't been a train since Harold Wilson's first term as prime minister?

I think it's one of those ideas – like most of the investment in public transport currently going on – which will benefit people in and around Cardiff and the suburbs, but will be absolutely bugger all use to everyone else.

Arriva's new thickticket surely takes the first prize for Rückwärtsbewegung durch Technik, though. It's not a smartcard, nor a half-hearted attempt to move in that direction.

According to the conductor, it's just a stopgap until the 'real' new ticket machines are rolled out across the network. As I told him, I don't hold my breath for anything where Arriva Trains Wales are concerned – not even the trains.

Silk, Huw (2016), Wales needs its own Oyster cards says a radical review of our public transport system, Wales Online, 18 March 2016